“When you finally learn that a person’s behavior has more to do with their own internal struggle than you, you learn grace.” ~ Allison Aars
More often than not it’s not about you…
“When you finally learn that a person’s behavior has more to do with their own internal struggle than you, you learn grace.”
As we go through our lives we have constant interactions with others. Often times these interactions are good or neutral ones that leave you feeling fine. Sometimes though the other person’s behavior can leave you feeling ruffled, upset, and poorly. It’s awful.
It’s also incredibly easy to internalize this kind of interaction and make it about you. Whether you make it about something you did or a way you behaved that created the upset or view it as an unfair reaction on the other person’s part, you are victimizing yourself. That is certainly no good.
To be the victim is to create an excuse and disempower yourself. When you do this, you take on the struggle, the upset and the discord of another and make it your own. Often this includes the feelings of helplessness and even defeat, since it’s all based upon assumption and reactive emotions. It’s truly a terrible cycle that can keep you spiraling each time you encounter another who’s behavior triggers you.
The real lesson in this comes from realizing that another person’s behavior has more to do with their own internal struggles than with you. Just as your own behavior has more to do with your own internal struggles than with others.
Think about it – more often than not when another person’s behavior seems out of sorts, reactive or even ruffling to you, odds are actually fairly good that it has nothing truly personal to do with you. Perhaps you inadvertently triggered something in them or innocently did something that hit a button just so in them – it was unintentional and has to do with them, not you. You were simply the cause to their effect, nothing more.
The more you can realize this and apply it to your own counter-reaction, the more grace and kindness you can extend both to the other person and to yourself. The more you do this, more able you are to move past such encounters with ease and without the same amount of inner upset and discord of your own.
This is a mirror post to Monday Mantra 295 because it’s a truth that works both ways. We all of us are facing our own struggles and wounds and the more we can understand this, the more we can allow space for our own healing and for other’s healing as well. By realizing these twin truths we can begin to open ourselves up to true, meaningful healing and we can begin to forge a better understanding of our fellow humans. While we might always be triggered by certain things, the more we face and understand the “whys” the better we will become at dealing with them. This is the path to wellness, prosperity, and joy and to a better YOU.
Namaste ~ Ella
~ Monday Mantras are positive words of wisdom, insight and joy to add a bit of cheer to the start of your week and any day you need a bit of a pick-me-up! For even more inspiration please check out my Monday Mantra Pinterest Board and my Quote-spirational Board!
~ Check my Instagram on Mondays for Inspirational quotes and every day for a little jolt of happiness!