Affirmation Mondays 299 ~ To find yourself, think for yourself

To find yourself, you must begin to think for yourself. You cannot allow other’s thoughts or feelings or opinions to color your own, nor can you allow them to think for you.

Yes, it reads quite simply and many would be aghast at the notion that they were letting anyone think for them, yet how often is that actually the case?

How often do your own thoughts mirror those around you? It’s usually a combination of a kind of people pleasing and a bit of an echo chamber effect. It starts with wanting to be liked – and agreeable people tend to be liked – and a desire to be “right” in how you’re feeling. While this doesn’t necessarily signify that you aren’t fully thinking for yourself on it’s own, I mean who doesn’t tend to agree with friends and like-minded souls, it does make it easier to begin to slide into a group-think situation.

The longer you remain in a group-think mindset, the less likely you are to form your own, gut-formed thoughts. Add in any form of stress, anxiety, depression, or upset and then mix it with societal pressures to conform and fit-in and you have a disastrous set-up for feeling disengaged and lost from yourself.

I totally get it and have had it happen several times. For example, I’d start off in a new group enjoying the conversations and view points and then after awhile find myself feeling stifled with the lack of variety when it come to varying options and disliking the almost attacks that would happen when anyone dared to voice a less than popular view. It’s not that I live for ruffling feathers or anything (I actually hate confrontations and want to discuss, not argue), it’s just that I do like to analyze things from a variety of directions and the more I am discouraged from doing that, the more flustered and annoyed and lost I tend to get.

Over the years I’ve become more accustomed to thinking for myself instead of letting the prevailing crowd-think to provide my opinion even if it makes me the odd-duck out or that weirdo or whatever. I’m at home within myself and I still like a good multi-sided conversation, even if they may be rare at times. By starting small with a simple thing like not allowing a group to set the tone of my opinions, I was able to begin finding myself and my voice, and it’s been wonderful and eye-opening.

Thinking for yourself to find yourself is a truly radical and powerful action. It may seem a bit obvious, but it’s not as common as it should be. Society, after all, teaches conformity over all else and to think for yourself is to go against that. Yet, the more you do so, the more you’ll find yourself and discover just how amazing you are. Start small and keep at it and before you know it you’ll have found something very powerful indeed!