“Unlike self-criticism, which asks if you’re good enough, self-compassion asks, what’s good for you?” ~ Kristen Neff
Who doesn’t want to be asked what’s good, what’s right for them?!
“Unlike self-criticism, which asks if you’re good enough, self-compassion asks, what’s good for you?“
Most everyone is self-critical, and while in small doses this isn’t a bad thing, society has set us all up to be devastatingly self-critical. We are often self-critical to a point of self-destruction since we will beat ourselves up for not being this or that or having this or that or being the best whatever. However, do not let this scare you or make you feel overwhelmed with despair because there is another way!
That way is self-compassion. Where self-criticism asks if you’re good enough and usually has you falling short and feeling failure, self-compassion asks you what is good for you and provides ways to achieve it. Self-compassion is all about taking care of yourself and tending to your actual needs with kindness and tenderness. It’s nonjudgmental and it’s gentle and non-demanding.
Self-compassion is a skill, just like any other, but it’s an innate one that anyone can cultivate and practice. Instead of harshly judging and criticizing and almost always coming up short and seeing failure in it, self-compassion allows for humanity and for your unique needs. Self-compassion sets false goals and desires to the side and gets to your heart. Peer-pressure and societal ideals are pushed to the wayside and what is good for you, what you actually need, is brought to the forefront.
Yes, it does take practice and effort, but you are so worth the work you put into you. There are a multitude of ways to make self-compassion a habit and many methods to quite your inner critic and self-judgements (like this one about disarming your inner critic in three steps, for example). Try a few and then keep right on trying until you find the ways that fit you best!
I don’t know about you, but reading this quote made something inside me feel so wonderful and I felt a release in my mind as I nodded my head and said “Yes!” out loud. It was so obvious and yet I didn’t even connect just how important it is to make the clear distinction between self-criticism and self-compassion, despite having discussed how important it is to approve of yourself instead of being critical (see Monday Mantra 186 for the most recent example).
Seeking out self-compassion and truly asking yourself what’s good for you is a radical and amazing things to do. When you choose self-compassion over self-criticizing, you are choosing to be kind and loving to yourself and that is life changing! Just try it and see!
Namaste ~ Ella
~ Affirmation Mondays are positive words of wisdom, insight and joy to add a bit of cheer to the start of your week and any day you need a bit of a pick-me-up! For even more inspiration please check out my Affirmation Mondays Pinterest Board and my Quote-spirational Board!
~ Check my Instagram on Mondays for Inspirational quotes and every day for a little jolt of happiness!