“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” ~ Robert Anthony
It’s such an easy trap to fall into, blaming others…
“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.”
The blame game is one we all learn from an early age. The goal is to be sure no blame sticks to you but passes on to another. Blame for what, well any and everything possible. Pass the buck, place the blame, walk away…powerless in your ability to learn, grow, and change.
Whether it’s the blame for who took the cookies to who it responsible for the pain or damage you are dealing with, we blame others. And yes, there is plenty of those times when the other party is responsible and totally to blame.
It’s human nature to want to point fingers, to place blame and to say it wasn’t me, it was them. To desire those who hurt or wounded or wronged you to have to acknowledge it and own it and make it right by you. To be told unequivocally that, yes, you were/are in the right and they were/are wrong.
It seems fairly straightforward, and it is, if not for egos and an ingrained fear of being wrong, of being blamed, even if it’s the honest truth. It doesn’t help that everyone has differing viewpoints, emotional responses and rare is the situation where all involved will agree on one simple narrative or outcome.
As blame begins to be passed around, the more egos start to surge, the more emotions get stirred up, and the more pain gets inflicted. It sucks, it hurts, and it can cause irreparable wounds – internally and externally.
That said, by not assigning blame and instead focusing on what you can do to take your power in hand, you will heal and change, and usually for the better. Now this doesn’t mean you don’t point out when someone does something to you. It simply means that you don’t rely on placing blame to make you feel better or to excuse your own behavior.
It’s easy to do just that – blame someone else’s treatment of you as a reason you behave poorly or lash out or whatever. Yes, you have been hurt, but honor that pain, respect your wounds, and find a way to begin to nurture yourself. Don’t fester and cause other wounds for yourself or others – that’s not a pleasant way to live and you deserve so much more than that.
You deserve acknowledgement and healing and you are capable of both of these within yourself. You have that extremely awesome power. It takes a bit of doing, by not holding onto the blame and the hurt and the desire for a kind of equal revenge. You let go of that blame though, and you’ll find a revenge in the deep love and contentment you’ll foster in your being.
When you blame others, you are finding a way to dodge your own healing and ability to change and grow more powerful in your own love and self. Don’t give this gift away by blaming, cultivate it by forgiving and loving yourself. If the person you wish to place blame on refuses to acknowledge what they did or won’t make things right with and by you, then they aren’t worth your time, efforts, or love. Step away and nourish yourself and use it as a lesson in who they are and how they don’t belong in your life.
Stop placing blame (and that includes upon yourself) and open yourself up to healing and to growth. You are worth it!
Namaste ~ Ella
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