Stress, anxiety and depression are all things that I have had to face and deal with, sometimes in very overwhelming and oppressive ways, and yes, it sucked. That said, I did manage to find ways to cope and to even find common factors to some of the causes…
“Stress, anxiety and depression are caused when we are living to please others.“
These words hold such truth to them. Stress, anxiety and even some of the root causes of depression stem from the ideas of living to please others and of seeking out the approval and acceptance of others. I know this has been incredibly true for me and once I was able to identify just how I was actively choosing to live for others, I was able to find ways of correcting the harmful behavior.
Now, this doesn’t mean I don’t think of other’s or act indifferently to those I care about’s needs or wants. All it means is that I seek out my own approval and I live to please myself first. It’s truly a radical and shocking notion, especially given that I am a woman and therefore society deems it a given that I perform and live for it. Well, I no longer do, or at least I am doing my best to break completely free of that.
What does that mean exactly, you might be asking, well let me tell you. It means simple things like not smiling if I’m not feeling it – despite the insistence of others that I should smile since it makes me look prettier. It means doing what brings me joy even if other’s make-fun of me or belittle me for it. It means taking up space because I am a human being and I am allowed to take up space just like everyone else. It means sharing my opinions if I want to and not caring if I’m called a bitch and it means staying quiet if that is how I feel and not caring if I’m called cold or a snob. It means being ME and doing ME and not giving any fucks if that doesn’t please others one little bit.
Yes, being this way can bring about a bit of it’s own stress and anxiety, however, I find it’s the kind that begins to melt away the more I am true to myself. By refusing to live for others and by others expectations, the unnecessary stress, anxiety and depression that accompanies it.
It’s almost unreal how much does fall away once you pause and realize just how you might be living for others first and yourself last, if at all. The next time you are feeling stressed or anxious ask yourself why? Is it because you are worrying that someone else might find you lacking somehow? Yes, there are times what other’s think may matter (think job – boss or client) but if you are doing the best that you can and you feel good about what you are doing, then you are just fine and what anybody else has to say is simply extra. Things will always work out and the kinder you are to yourself and the more you put yourself first in your thoughts, the better off you’ll be. Try it and see. Radical, no?
Namaste ~ Ella
~ Monday Mantras are positive words of wisdom, insight and joy to add a bit of cheer to the start of your week and any day you need a bit of a pick-me-up! For even more inspiration please check out my Monday Mantra Pinterest Board and my Quote-spirational Board!
~ Check my Instagram on Mondays for Inspirational quotes and every day for a little jolt of happiness!