“Your wound is probably not your fault, but your healing is your responsibility.” ~ Denice Frohman
We all have wounds, some deep, others shallow, however…
“Your wound is probably not your fault, but your healing is your responsibility.“
The wounds we gather upon ourselves as we go through life are many and varied, however all have one core truth to them. That truth is that our healing from the wounds is our own responsibility and no one elses.
Like most truths, this one kinda sucks, especially when you first encounter it. I know I rebelled at the thought. Why should it be all my job to heal from a wound inflicted by someone else? Why wasn’t it their problem, theirs to fix and make better? Well, it’s my wound, my pain, my own distress – not another persons. Yes, someone else may have inflicted it, but it’s effects are mine. It’s my choice to fester or to heal, to make it right by me or not.
It’s up to the offender to offer up contrition, to do what they feel is the best thing they can do to make it right – that is, of course, if they even choose to acknowledge that they inflicted a wound to begin with. So many just don’t even know, and sometimes it’s not even malicious, it’s just an unawareness, one born out of an unknowing insensitivity or blindness. Knowing that doesn’t make it any better, but it does point out how important it is for you to take total control of your own healing. It’s also important to point out that even if you can point a finger at what or who wounded you, it doesn’t do much since the wound is already there.
Like I said, it sucks, but once you begin to focus on your own power, your own abilities to take this wound and nurse and heal it, it doesn’t suck quite so much. As you heal you are able to gain wisdom, experience, compassion, and self-love. By turning tender and soft as you mend and tend to your wounds, you will find strength and you will come out so much capable of continued healing and growth.
You will also discover just who it is you can trust with your awesome soul. It will be the ones who care if they wound you and who want to do right by you that are worth keeping near. Those who wound and who either don’t realize it and get mad at you when you point it out, or who don’t care that they do are the ones you can set free. You don’t need to prove anything to them and they will have already proved what they think of you, so let them go. If they truly cared, they would show it in the ways that matter to you – just as you show those who matter to you in they ways they need.
I’ve set people free and many times they simply just left my life. The ones who desire my company and companionship are the ones who will apologize if they hurt me (unintentionally or not), work with me to figure things out and who will allow me the time and space to heal my wounds as I need to. I do my best to do the same in-return to those I wound and I will fight to make things right by those who I truly adore if I need to. Wounding someone I care about is horrible and making amends is beyond important, just as allowing them the time and space they need to heal is. It’s all a give and take and those who matter will get it or ask so that they can get it.
Just know that no matter how you’ve been wounded, you have the power to heal those wounds and it is fully on you to heal. Yes, it’s wonderful when those that hurt you apologize and do what they can to aide your healing, but that only helps to show you who is worth being in your life. It’s your responsibility to heal your wounds and to go forward knowing that you are capable, strong, and able to grow in positive ways from it.
Namaste ~ Ella
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